MIA

Fibro. stole my life before I even knew what was wrong with me and I still feel it's MIA. I may never get the old "Me" back, but I want something I'm at least happy and comfortable with.

I'm so tired of being a "complainer". I find myself complaining about one thing or another way too often. There are plenty of things to be upset over or annoyed with. Things like not having enough energy to do the things I want and need to do, never being able to finish anything, simple chores randomly knocking me out for a couple days, problems with food due to IBS (which comes a long with Fibro) and having nervous energy from not being able to be as active as I need to be. The list is longer, but you get the point. But I'm sick of hearing myself complain and can only imagine how those around me feel about it.

The only way to fix it is to make changes. No, I really don't want to. I'd like to just wake up and go about my day without having to be so aware of how and when I do things and what I eat, but I can't avoid it. I've already started making small changes to my diet, mostly just cutting back on processed foods and cooking more from fresh and scratch. Exercising is a problem right now because it causes me more problems than it helps. So the plan is to just try to get more chores done each week than the week before and build myself up to being able to exercise.

That's my Fibor rant for the day. I really wish this would reach more people because I would love to hear from other Fibro sufferers and how you are coping with it.

Take Care Everyone

Frustration With Flare Ups

I just don’t have this week what it would take to do the things that need done. I wish I could just let it go and not worry about what I can’t do. My garden and canning are suffering and my house needs cleaned up before Saturday, but I’ve felt sick all week. This is a part of Fibromyalgia that I think gets overlooked. I just feel sick for days sometimes: stomach ache, hotter than everyone else around me, sleepy, fatigued and plagued with general anxiety and panic attacks. Do any of you sufferers out there feel anything like this sometimes? Or am I falsely blaming it on Fibro? I feel sure that it’s just a flare up, but I don’t feel the pain because the Lyrica takes care of that. When I’m on Cymbalta it takes away the severity of these flare ups, but I can’t afford to order it right now.
    I think stress may cause some of these flare ups. I want to get my house cleaned up before this weekend better than I normally keep it because of extended family visiting and my garden is going to pot because I can’t take care of it the way it needs. Trying to do more than I know I can makes me stress out and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I get sick right at the time I need to feel my best. I’m aware from some reading online that flare ups are connected to stress, but how do I avoid it when there are things that need to be taken care of that I just can’t keep up with?

Take Care Everyone,
Bev

Pace Yourself!

With or without medication we must pace ourselves. This is a lesson I’m still struggling with and get frustrated easily over. Today I donned my sun screen, straw hat and headed to the garden with my water bottle to pick the beans. I got two out of four rows picked and was just done! This is one reason people mistake us for being lazy. No matter how much we want to we just can’t do as much at one time. My hands and knees ache and I feel like someone stuck a needle in and drained most of my energy. I still haven’t learned my limit; how to quit BEFORE it becomes too much. “Putter” needs to be my life philosophy.
    Having Fibro makes me think of my Mother-in-law. I’ve never seen her rush around to do anything. She just steadily moves throughout her day, always getting more done than I thought one woman could. I strive to work like she does, but haven’t succeeded yet haha. She cleans, cooks, sews, gardens, cans, does yard work and much more and very rarely seems too tired. Her house is never dusty, never more than a dish or two in the sink and not a weed in her garden. She also along with her husband makes the best apple butter EVER. So maybe I’ll never be that good haha, but I really should try harder to go about my life the way she does hers.
    So, I hope you fellow Fibro sufferers catch onto “pacing” quicker than I have! We each have our own personal pace and let no one judge you for what you know is right for you. We just have to find our personal rhythm and learn to accept that “tomorrow is another day” for what we didn’t do today.

Take Care People!

Lyrica

My Lyrica came in the mail yesterday and it’s the first morning after a night with Lyrica back in my system. I’m not shaking (vibrating inside) and I don’t feel nervous. It’s funny, but I can’t really explain in words accurately how I feel. I wasn’t really experiencing pain or so I thought without Lyrica, but this morning my body feels different. It feels comfortable. That’s the only way I know how to say it. Maybe I got used to pain and haven’t been registering it like before being diagnosed with anything. I kept saying over the past few weeks without Lyrica that I’m not really hurting; it’s just the extreme fatigue that was getting to me. Well this morning my body just feels normal in a way I didn’t realize I wasn’t feeling without Lyrica. It’s easier to do a simple thing like just getting up to get a cup of coffee. I hope someone else out there knows what I’m trying explain haha.

I was debating whether to go back on Lyrica. I wanted to try to cope with Fibro without it. The last two days though I was just tired of how I was feeling. I was sick of the mental fog and dreading my chores. So I may have a chemical in my body now that I have no clue as to how it's going to effect my brain in the long run, but I feel GOOD!

Take care and be kind to yourself!

I don't know what I'm doing.

I mainly want to put random thoughts here about my life with Fibromyalgia and to try to connect with others who are living with it too. I have a horrible memory so I don't even remember when I was diagnosed, but It's probably been about 3 or 4 years now. I'm supposed to be taking Lyrica for it, but because of a couple screw-ups with our mail pharmacy I've been without it for about three weeks or so now. Hence the "I don't know what I'm doing" title. Without Lyrica I can't think straight nor get much work done.

To make a long story short for now I went through what most have gone through before finally being diagnosed with Fibro. My first doctor said I was depressed and put me on Prozac. I told him I wasn't chemically depressed that I'm depressed because I feel like crap and can't live my life normally. I tried the Prozac for awhile, but hated it and stopped. My second doctor diagnosed me with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and had me do a sleep study which revealed that I have Sleep Apnea. Using CPAP therapy helped, but I still couldn't get my life back. It took a 3rd doctor to diagnose me with Fibro and put me on Lyrica.

It really has helped me get back to somewhat of a normal life, but not completely. I still have to pace myself (I can't procrastinate then work in a frenzied state to get caught up like I used to) .The sad thing is I'm still a procrastinator, but now instead of being able to catch up in a day or two I'm never caught up. I'm a stay-at-Mom so it's not like I'm going to get fired or anything...divorced maybe, but not fired. haha. Mental blocks are a real problem for me too. I used to be a fairly creative person, making cards for people instead of buying them, writing poetry here and there and doing random small crafts. Well now things just come in spurts as I'm sure this blog will.

I hope to connect with some of you out there. Maybe we can help each other, rant about what's going wrong and share what's going right.

Take Care!